Wednesday, 11 June 2014

"Wait and ache" ~ Sylvia Plath

I am trying to move forward but at times my grief is overwhelming.  I have had my share of things to deal with over the years but nothing has really prepared me for the devastation I feel at the is so very hard. My life is different now, I experience it through the lens of a mother who has lost a son, everything at the moment comes to me via this perspective and it is a much darker, murkier outlook. I know time is a healer, I learnt that when my mother died, she was 47 and I had just had my 4th child, I wondered then if I would ever get over that, eventually I did.  Intellectually I know that I will one day feel better and not so overwhelmed, so therefore I force myself to go through the motions of life, always get up each morning, always take Perla for a walk, always do the things that have to be done for the business and always make myself achieve at least one other thing each day...even if it is just the dishes.

I wait and ache...till time heals.

To help the process I have decided to resume blogging, even if it may only be the Monday Ice segment, I am not sure how much I will do at this stage...but I am going to give it a try.


  1. My heart goes out to you Vicki. No one can share your grief but I'm sure you have so many friends and family who would willingly carry some for you. Thinking of you......XX Gill

  2. I'm sorry it's so hard for you right now. It's okay to be sad. Even though your post is heartbreaking I am left with a feeling of gratitude and beauty. Even through the darkest times and devastation all your sadness and frustration is still beautiful and worthwhile, a side effect of the immense love within you. I'm glad you are going on with the motions of life but hope you won't be too hard on yourself. Be gentle, be well, and know that you have the support of many people all around the world :)

  3. So much to get through and such a heavy heart, full of love and loss.
    Your focus on everyday, repetitive motions to give you momentum is a very wise start Vicki.

  4. I only saw this today you XX

  5. If I could stop sobbing I maybe could write something worthwhile ...I just keep sobbing ...Love you xxx